All you’ve been hearing about gym escapades so far is
probably wrong – it is a commune, a well organized commune with a code of
behavior and to fit in, you simply have to honor that code. No, any attempt to
stand out won’t make you cool – you’ll just be THAT guy.
We understand the commitment and eagerness, but – to
save yourself the embarrassment of looking like a total douche at the gym, you
need to get things straight. Here’s how.
Stop with the charade
If you are fat, you are fat – you know it, and everyone else
at the gym knows it. And that’s okay.
You’ve made an effort to join the gym and work yourself slender and muscular.
Accept your body and weight, don’t pretend to be an athlete when you are not –
pretence is crap, especially at the gym where everyone comes with the same goal
– to improve their physical body and mental state.
Instead of squeezing yourself into the currently popular and
very tight athleisurewear, opt for something looser and flattering. The right fitness clothing will make you feel comfortable and proportional – and that’s
the style you should be after. Ok?
Ditch the lifting
gloves
You are no Schwarzenegger and those gloves may go,
immediately. No, despite what you may have heard – they won’t make you look
sportier or more committed to the workouts. You’ll only look… weird, especially
if you’re just starting out.
Aside from the looks of things, gloves virtually have no purpose. First, they
ruin your feel for things like Olympic lifts, kettlebell exercises and
powerlifts. Second, you can’t grip the barbell or dumbbell as well as you would
with bare hands. Third, wearing them – your grip is compromised.
We’d always advise keeping your hands bare but if you’re
really big on protecting them, wear boxing bandages. They’re perfect for both
protection and a transition to your boxing session.
Mind the grunting
Grunting like that, what are you trying to prove? That you
are awesome and dedicated? Please. You sound like squirrels having sex and you
are disrupting other gym members in the process.
While it’s absolutely true you have to learn to breathe well
in order to achieve any result, you don’t need to be as loud or as
distracting. Talk to your trainer about breathing techniques and ask him to
train you into breathing properly and efficiently.
Stop the mirror-admiration
Once you’ve shed the pounds and started shaping up, you’ll
probably want to spend every in-between-sessions moment in front of the mirror,
admiring your muscles. Well, please don’t. You’ve got a mirror at home so take
the mirror-admiration there; gym is not the place.
Sure, take a look from time to time (after all, we all love a
little encouragement) but keep it to a minimum… that is, if you don’t want to
be the laughingstock of the gym.
Keep your sh*t together
We’ve got three things to tackle here:
1. Don’t get into fights
Even though every gym has a code of behavior and people
training do try to stay respectful of one another (not cut in, steal machines,
occupy too much space, etc) - mistakes happen and usually unintended.
Obviously, there’ll always be THOSE GUYS who are getting in everyone’s way
intentionally, trying to pick a fight or grab attention by being an idiot.
Things like these may get very distracting, even mess your whole workout
session up but you need to be a bigger man. Don’t let anyone provoke you into
reacting to their stupidity and bad manners, especially not a with a punch.
2. Mind your hygiene
Shower before and after the workout and don’t use strong
perfume (or any perfume at all) while working out. Nobody came to the gym for
your odor.
3. Stay pleasant
Be polite to people you are working out next to; smile
politely, say “hello”, agree on workout equipment exchange, etc. You never know
– you may even meet some awesome people by being/behaving as an awesome guy.
Well, we hope we’ve been helpful. Scroll through our advice a
few more times before your next workout session and you’ll see we’re actually being helpful (even though we may be sounding
a bit harsh). Good luck, man!
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